Thursday, August 16, 2007

Scariest thing ever!

Fear is an interesting thing. Sometimes, in a difficult siutation, fear causes one to focus. Other times, fear compels us to be courageous in the face of danger. Fear may also spark a person's survival instincts, helping them to do what is necessary in a given situation.

Often times, however, fear leads to irrationality. And that is where I come in. To illustrate my point, I give you: the Camel Spider.

Those who have served in the Middle East are no doubt familiar with these monsters. A friend who just arrived in Iraq made mention of them, and to my everlasting horror and regret, I looked them up. Scary simply does not adequately describe these demon spiders (They aren't actually spiders, but a type of arachnid known as Solifugae).

What makes them scary? Well, aside from their nightmarish appearence, they can run up to 10mph chasing its prey. They can grow up to 6 inches, although returning soldiers swear they've measured ones larger. They are super aggressive and will bite you. They feed on insects, other spiders, scorpions, birds, lizards, and even small rodents. And although they are not poisonous, bites often result in infections.

Now back to my orginal point. My brain may tell me that a Grizzly Bear or Tiger Shark poses a far greater danger to my person, but the irrationality resulting from my dread of these spiders completely overpowers my ability to think clearly, and would therefore gladly pet a crocodile rather than face one of these beasts. Anything that vicious and scary-looking is to be feared and avoided at all costs. I think we'd win the war in Iraq in a heartbeat if we found a way to use them against Al-qaeda.

Simply put - Camel Spiders are evil spawns of Satan, spat up from hell to wreak horror and fear upon an unsuspecting world. Here's the proof:

Apparently a favorite pastime of soldiers and Marines in the Middle East is betting on fights to the death between Camel Spiders and Scorpions.

Sleep well!

1 comment:

Jason Campbell said...

Yeah, definitely not wandering around peacefully in the garden of Eden.

I looked up Solifugae in the dictionary and right there between Solid and Solitary was a portal to hell...